Travails of a Cancer Survivor

Travel into the soul of a mother who knew she had but little time left for her children and that she could die at any moment...

TRAVAILS OF A CANCER SURVIVOR

By Myleen Coronel 

Sezita Carao posing confidently
after months of chemotherapy 

“Everything happens for a reason, people change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together.” –Marilyn Monroe

           

Venture into the mind and heart of someone who had been at the radiation room and chemotherapy sessions. How she took the news, the widely publicized side effects and dangers of the medical cure.

Travel into the soul of a mother who knew she had but little time left for her children and that she could die at any moment; then her realization that the breast cancer has been conquered.

Meet Sazita Deniega Carao or as she likes to be called, Cita Carao. She is a mother of five and a big earner for the family being an HR manager of the famous Rustan’s Department Store chain. But little do we know, behind her big success now, she struggled with a disease that most of us feared the most which was breast cancer.

Hereditary or acquired?

As many of us are not aware of, cancer occurs as a mutation or abnormality in the genes responsible for regulating the growth of cells and keeping them healthy. Those abnormal changes gain the ability to keep dividing without control, forming more cells forming a tumor.

            Breast cancer is one of the most common cancers in women and is the result of uncontrolled growth of breast cells.

“Yun naman yung laging tanong eh. May history ba sa family niyo na nagka-breast cancer? (That was always the question. Do you have any history in your family who had breast cancer?)” Cita said on an interview.

“Sabi kasi ng iba, it can be genetically acquired pero sa family naman namin wala naman may cancer eh. (Some people say that it can be genetically acquired but there was no one in my family who had cancer)” When asked about what predisposed her sickness, she simply said,

“Yung age ko. Kasi common nayun sa age bracket and then if you are almost menopausal, mas inclined ka sa any hormonal problems. (I think it’s my age. It’s common to those who are in my age bracket and then if you are almost menopausal, you’re more inclined to any hormonal problems)”

Cita also said that she never had any bad habits; she never smoked and she has always been nutrition wise. She always took care of her health and took care of herself.

Check-up time

There were, of course, symptoms of breast cancer. Unfortunately for Cita, she never expected it to be breast cancer already. “May parang ache dun sa right side of my breast. Yun yung painful tapos yung lump, nahahawakan ko siya and it was hard. That was the time na nagpa check-up na ako. (There was a pain on the right side of my breast. That was the painful one and then I can feel the lump and it was hard. That was the time that I decided to go to the doctor)”

She never thought of anything bad about it, she just wanted to find out what it was. “Wala naman akong friends na may ganun. Yung nasa mind ko lang, I wanted to find out if it’s malignant or benign. So I said, they need to establish (doctors) kung ano yun. (I had no friends who had cancer. The only thing I want to know was whether it was malignant or benign. So I said, the doctors need to establish what “that” was) ” When she went to the hospital, she had to wait for a week before the results came out and it was, indeed, an Invasive Ductal Carcinoma or breast cancer.

Nightmare flashback

“It was a Sunday afternoon nung kinuha ko yung results (It was a Sunday afternoon when I took the results).” Cita recalled and continued, “The doctor, I think, was more anxious than I. Hindi niya masabi (He was having a hard time saying it); finally, when he said it, immediately he was trying to comfort me. He said, ‘You know, this is something curable. We don’t know the stage yet at this point but people survive from this illness. It’s not as bad as the others.’”

Cita almost laughed and said “I was not afraid at that time. I have always been a positive thinker. Hindi naman ako yung masyadong anxious (I’m not a very anxious person), I just take one day at a time.” She said that she just asked the doctor what to do next and he answered that she must take surgery to remove it.

“After that surgery was finished, that’s when I’ve learned that it was a stage three cancer so it’s still okay. At least it’s not stage four.” Cita then asked her surgeon on what the next step was and he recommended that she talk to an oncologist to manage the cancer further along.

“Along the way, I was feeling hopeful; I know that I would recover.” Then her oncologist said that the cancer had already spread in her lymph nodes and the chances of it escaping to other parts of her body were there.

I have cancer…I need your support

Some patients dared not to tell their sickness to their friends and family members. Sometimes, they just don’t want to burden anyone with their problem. But that wasn’t the case for Cita. She wanted her close friends and family to know about it so she can be supported.

She recalls the time when she approached her family.

“We had a family meeting when I got home. Everyone was quiet, especially TY (second to the eldest) and Jay (third child). Feliz (second to the youngest) and Lexan (youngest boy) were also quiet. The four of them reacted differently. TY went to the house of her friend and she just texted me that she can’t accept the news yet and that she was very scared. Hazel (eldest) was in Canada so I just texted her and told her that I needed her prayers”

Cita sited her realizations and fears at that time and continued, “I was not afraid of the upcoming pain I was about to experience and I’m not scared to die. The only fear that I had was, who will take care of my children?”

She then recalled her going to the prayer mountain and her talk with God and the peace the He gave her when she came down from the mountain.

“God talked to me and that’s when I realized that they are not just my children, they are God’s. He told me that He’s here and He will not abandon them. That was very reassuring to me and that gave me the peace that I was looking for.”

Chemotherapy and Radiation Sessions

Chemotherapy has always been recommended to people who have been diagnosed with cancer and it has been a struggle for Cita as she recalls her experience when she just came from the treatment.

“The struggle was more physical than anything. I was very weak because I had this very bad experience of vomiting everyday so on those days, I could not eat, so I was just forcing myself to eat. I drink lots of fruit juice and then I blend some vegetables.”

Chemotherapy treatment uses medicine to weaken and destroy the cells making a patient weak and vulnerable to diseases. As shared by Cita, she struggled with it but continued going to work after seven days.

           

“I don’t want to feel useless. If I’m strong enough, I go to work and wear a wig. It was also comforting me that I’m useful and I’m doing something.”

Cita also shared her experience in the radiation room when she was finished with Chemotherapy.

“Oh my goodness, there are time when you have to wait for two hours, three hours and I had to go to the hospital everyday, as in everyday.”

Light at the end of the tunnel

“There is never a pronouncement that you are cancer-free.”

Those were the words of Cita when asked about her freedom from cancer. “The possibility of you having it again is always there. You are on remission meaning to say, not today or not at this time but it can come back.”

It is indeed proven that when a patient has been free from cancer for five years that will be the time when doctors will declare that you are already cancer-free.

“I was able to face cancer the first time so it’s not a common enemy. I know how it works, I know how it strikes and I know what to do when it strikes so I’m not scared anymore. It’s always the first that’s hard.” Cita continued.

One day at a time with God

It has been almost a year and half since Cita was diagnosed with breast cancer and it has almost been a year and a half since her views in life changed.

“I’m not that high-strung anymore. I’m really a perfectionist before. You learn to let go of those things because those are not the most important. Relationships are far more important. I was able to identify what was important and what was giving me joy and I was able to know the things that give me a sense of fulfillment rather than the pursuit of material things.”

When asked when her faith was affected, she simply answered, “Actually, it strengthened it. Faith is important because for me, it’s the bottom line. I think if you don’t have faith, you’ll go through it in a very terrifying manner but with your faith, you go through it with reassurance that if you get healed, all glory go to the Father and if you’re not, you’re going to be with him anyway. You can look at the face of death and not be afraid because I believe that your life is not in your hands.”

“Even if you face some struggles and problems in life, it’s your relationship with God that puts everything together. I also wanted my children to know and remember that I wouldn’t trade my role as a mother to them than anything in the world.”

Take it from a cancer survivor.  It is when you are at the brink of death that you realize the joys of life.

#