A Mother’s tender touch

These were the words of a loving mother, Carmen Lacsamana Villegas, who sacrificed a lot to take care of her daughters: Aida, Amor, Alma, Anne and Armi. This mother and her children had to go through a lot to survive life.

 

A Mother’s tender touch

By Ramona Villegas 

“Simula nang ilabas ko yan sa tiyan ko, simula ng araw na siya ay aking ipinanganak, hindi na kami nagkahiwalay. (Ever since she got out of my tummy, ever since I gave to her, we were never separated.)”

These were the words of a loving mother, Carmen Lacsamana Villegas, who sacrificed a lot to take care of her daughters: Aida, Amor, Alma, Anne and Armi. This mother and her children had to go through a lot to survive life.

When Carmen got married to her husband, Alfonso, she thought that she would be having her “happily ever after”. Unfortunately, fairy tales can not beat reality. A few months after she got married, she had problems with her husband’s mother. She was mistreated, discriminated and sometimes, abused.

Carmen didn’t mind this, though. What’s important to her is that she is able to keep her children alive. Their family wasn’t exactly rich. In fact, they were somewhat financially bonded. They barely had enough money for them to eat three meals a day. The only thing Carmen had for a living was giving random people a manicure and pedicure. Her husband wasn’t much help at all.

“Mahal ko ang asawa ko. Pero alam kong babaero siya. At ang pinaka ayaw ko sa kanya, lasenggero siya. (I love my husband but I know he’s a flirt. The thing I hate most about him is that he is a drunkard.

Her problems didn’t end with her mean mother-in-law and her husband, she had problems with her children as well. According to Carmen, some of her kids would take their grandmother’s side and would disrespect her the way their grandmother did. This hurt Carmen, of course. “Buong buhay ko, binibigay ko sa kanila. Sila lang ang buhay ko. Ang hinihingi ko lang naman sa kanila respeto. (I gave my whole life to them. They are my life. The only thing I’m asking for return is respect.)” Every mother’s dream for their child is for them to finish their studies and to have a good future. Unfortunately, Carmen’s daughters never gave her that dream. Most of them gave were married at the early age of 16 because they were pregnant. At this time, Anne and Armi were the only ones who didn’t get married early. Though dreams for her children were shattered, Carmen still showed love towards her first three daughters. A few years later, her youngest daughter also got married.

Time came when she and her daughters had to go their separate ways. Ever since then, Carmen stayed with her daughter, Anne, who became an actress.

After 33 years of being married, Carmen was widowed for her husband died of a gunshot in the year 1984.  After this tragedy, Carmen never married again. Even if most of her daughters had their own lives, she focused her life on helping them. Unfortunately, her children married husbands who were jobless. Her eldest, Aida, went from one guy to another. Her 2^nd daughter, Amor, is currently separated with her husband. Alma’s husband was also a drunkard and currently jobless and Armi’s husband was the same. Anne had boyfriends but is currently single. Out of the five, Anne is the only one who was able to finish her studies and the only one who has a decent job.

Right this very moment, Carmen does household chores for Anne and her family. Though she may be tired physically, she is happy. When her other daughters would ask for money because it is needed, Carmen would give it to them. She would sell her jewelry or use her savings to help her children. The sad reality there is, her daughters would sometimes take her for granted and would only come and visit when money was needed. Another sad reality is the children of Aida, Amor, Alma and Armi has become to dependent on Carmen that they are doing the same habit of visiting only when money was needed.

“Hindi naman sa gusto ko ang nangyayari, pero ano magagawa ko? Anak ko sila at sobrang mahal ko sila. (This isn’t what I wanted to happen, but what can I do? They’re my children and I love them so much.)”

Carmen is a great example of a mother’s love. Though her dreams for her children did not come to a reality, she had come to accept their flaws and love them for who they are.